Bleary-Eyed, Stuporous Houseguest Assures Host That He Slept Great

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PITTSBURGH—Providing several reassurances about the quality of his previous night’s rest, bleary-eyed, stuporous houseguest Ken Hodge informed host Jeremy Muller this morning that he slept really great, sources confirmed. “Yeah, I was pretty comfy,” said the drowsy, sluggish 29-year-old, who restlessly tossed and turned throughout the night while attempting to find a comfortable sleeping position on the sagging cushions of Muller’s sofa. “That’s a nice couch. I was out like a light.” At press time, Hodge confirmed that the scratchy blanket that barely covered his entire body had kept him “nice and cozy.”