is this kissing?

Apologies to Scott Disick

Photo: ANGELA WEISS/AFP via Getty Images

Well, goth girlfriend Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker rolled into the 2021 MTV VMAs for their official awards-show red-carpet debut covered in as much leather and spikes as they could possibly muster. They also performed what’s rapidly becoming some kind of weird PDA ritual while on the red carpet: They touched tongues.

What is this? Why do these two so zealously enjoy touching tongues in public? Everything I thought I knew about making out has been undone by this couple and their public horniness. One working theory: Barker is worried about poking Kardashian with one of his many, many spikes if they make out too closely. This is fair enough, and understandable tonight given how much skin Kardashian’s lace-up situation leaves exposed to spikes.

Meanwhile, I can only imagine what’s going down in Scott Disick’s group chat full of bitter Kardashian exes. The thing really keeping me up at night though: the possibility that these two might get tongue piercings.

Apologies to Scott Disick